A Parent’s Guide to Protecting Their Kids Online

Kid-Friendly Passwords

Let’s be honest: Passwords are necessary but, oh boy, are they a pain. We adults struggle all the time to remember the letters, numbers, and special characters for our gazillions of passwords. How can we expect our children to do something we can’t?

No worries! There are solutions for both adults and kids. Tease them out during discussions with your children. Touch on these ideas:

Why do we need passwords? To protect our accounts and personal information such as addresses, phone numbers, and Social Security numbers. Criminals who know this information could steal our money and make it a lot harder for us to get loans and even jobs.

What do password managers do? They store and manage our passwords in an encrypted vault so we don’t have to remember all of them. We just need to remember one master password that we use to get into the vault. Better yet, most password managers support multi-factor authentication that would require a biometric (fingerprint or face scan) to open. (Extra: Kids might love the idea of having their own personal vault that only their fingerprint can open.)

Are some passwords better than others? Yep! Some are easy to guess, like if it is your birth date or pet’s name. Avoid passwords with any identifying information!

Why is it a bad idea to use the same password for different accounts? Because if someone knows the password to just one account, they can try it with other accounts and get access to a lot of stuff.

What is identifying/personal information? Anything that can identify you specifically. It includes email addresses, ages, birthdays, and fingerprints and pictures (biometrics). You don’t want other people to have that information because they can use it to steal money or read your messages.

What happens if you can’t remember your password? Let us (your parents or caregivers) know. We can help you remember it or make a new one. Otherwise, you usually have a few tries to get the password right or can click a “Forgot Password?” link to reset it.

What are common mistakes people make with passwords? We’ve (parents or caregivers) done this in the past: Reused the exact same passwords, kept the same bases with just one number or letter different, used easy-to-guess phrases such as “1234,” and went with personally identifying information. Big oops all around. See our password security tips article for all there is to know on this topic.

Who can I share my password with? No one except us (your parents or caregivers). Don’t even share passwords with your best friends. Speaking of sharing passwords with us, we set up X account with a password for you. This way you can slowly get the hang of creating your own secure passwords. Here’s the password and the reasons it is secure.

What password requirements do most accounts have? Often, you must have uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and special characters.

Strong passwords can be fun! For instance, you love your grandma’s mashed potatoes. So, take this sentence: “I love Grandma’s mashed potatoes but Daddy’s are pretty good too.” You can change it into a code using two steps. Step one is to take the first letter of each word. You’d get IlGmpbDapgt. Next, you can substitute special characters for some letters such as @ for a (or & to represent “and”). So, the final password could be: IlGmpbD@pgt.

Which is a better password, one based on your age or one on your favorite book? Favorite book since it is harder for people to guess and isn’t personally identifying information (still gotta be careful not to overshare on social media).

What happens if I share passwords with friends? Hopefully nothing, but that is a big risk to take. We understand it’s tempting because of file sharing or sharing Netflix, etc. However, I know a few people whose friendships ended, and guess what these former friends did? They knew their former friends’ passwords, hacked into their emails, read them, and spread gossip. Don’t open yourself up to these risks.

When should we update passwords? If your password is strong, you don’t need to update it. Why fix something that isn’t broken and force yourself to remember all-new stuff? You’ll see lots of articles online recommending that you change every month or every few months. Ignore that advice. There are a few important exceptions such as if your account or password list is hacked into or if you share the password.

Can I write down my passwords? Sure, but that’s not always the safest way to store passwords. If you do decide to write down your password, make sure you hide the piece of paper you wrote it on somewhere safe.

Parents: Create passwords for young children using the principles discussed above. As they get older, come up with passwords together. When they are even older, let the kids create their own passwords (and share them with you). At a certain point, some parents “let go” fully and don’t require that their teens share passwords with them.

>> Read about: Most Dangerous Online Challenges

Antivirus Protection Software

Antivirus software protects your devices from viruses and malware. Luckily, many newer computers come with virus and threat protection already included. Otherwise, there are a few good free or low-cost programs. Some include parental controls. The most reliable and comprehensive software offers features such as:

• Access Controls
• Comprehensive Antivirus
• E-Mail Screening
• Firewall
• Anti-Malware
• Anti-Spyware
• Anti-Keyloggers
• Anti-Tamper Features
• Intrusion Detection/Prevention
• Security Information Management
• Ransomware Prevention
• Anti-Subversion Software

Software and Application Updates

It’s critical—but easy—to keep apps, programs, and operating systems up to date on all of your devices. Otherwise, criminals could exploit security bugs. All you really have to do: Set automatic updates. Automatic is especially useful since children and teens may forget to do manual updates.

Data and Location Tracking

This is a complex topic, but essentially, location tracking can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it provides a way for us as parents to keep track of our children’s whereabouts. That’s one way we can keep them safe physically. On the other hand, a teenager might view location tracking as you breathing down their necks. Some feel stifled and explore ways to get around the tracking.

We should also mention that location data is one of the favorite targets of cybercriminals. If they find a way to track your offspring’s location, they use that to blackmail, stalk, or even harm your kid. If you decide to track your children’s location, here are some pointers:

• Have a conversation about it and explain why you’re doing it. Try to get them to understand why you feel it’s important that you know their location, but at the same time, keep an open mind. Be ready to meet them halfway if they aren’t comfortable with location tracking.
• Use a secure tracking app. While there are numerous family safety apps out there, not all of them are safe. Remember that these apps require access to important device data and personal information, so steer clear from apps that aren’t straightforward about what data they collect and how they store that data.

Clickjacking and Malware

“Click here for your free iPhone!” the link might read. Such offers tempt children and teens but could lead to clickjacking or malware. With clickjacking, criminals disguise or cloak links with overlays that trick users into taking actions they don’t know about. A basic, lower-harm reason for clickjacking is to get users to like a Facebook page. On the other end of the spectrum it can be used to transfer money from a bank account. (That’s one great reason to not share devices with your children if possible. If you must share, set up separate user profiles.)

Explain clickjacking and malware to your kids. Many websites that children and teens frequent are particularly vulnerable to these deceptions. Caution your kids to use the latest versions of their web browsers and to not click on links that seem too good to be true. Likewise, if your kids see that their friends have posted odd links or messages, they should not click. Instead, they should ask their friends if they published the message.

Phishing Scams

Phishing is no fun for its victims. It’s a way to trick people into giving up information such as passwords and bank account numbers. Phishers can target teens by posting about scholarships, modeling opportunities, high-end items, or employment training on social media (or messaging, texting, or emailing teens about them).

Some of these teens then give up financial information, passwords, or other sensitive data. They think the offers are one hundred percent legitimate. Sometimes, they do look that way with good grammar and professional design. Train your kids to look for telltale phishing signs such as:

• URLs or email addresses that have errors such as extra hyphens or transposed letters
• Having to click on links to give information of any type
• No secure lock symbol or https:// in the address bar
• Weird or imperfect grammar
• Website differences

Regarding the latter point, a fake luxury company page is likely to have differences (could be minor, could be major) compared with a genuine page. Your kids should type in URLs that they know to be legitimate instead of clicking on links in emails. Also, teach your children to hover over URLs before clicking. That way, they can notice early on if something’s off with a web address.

Awareness is an important piece of the puzzle. The other critical component is anti-phishing or software tools such as Norton, McAfee, Avast, and Total AV. Often, you can get protection against phishing, malware, viruses, and more in one program.

Social Media, Video Chat, and Personal Video Streaming

Social media, video chats, and video streaming make it easy for children and adults alike to let their guard down and trust people with private information. Even telling strangers snippets such as city of residence or phone number helps them track you down and uncover other identifying information.

Educate your children about the identity theft, stalking, and harassment risks of sharing their location, birthday, town, and even school name online. Someone who posts about a party they are going to in an hour gives stalkers a window into their movements.

Possible solutions: Not sharing the info at all, very high privacy settings, accepting requests only from people who know them in person

Explain that they might be contacted by people who make them feel uncomfortable or unsafe—and that people aren’t always who they say they are.

Possible solutions: Block these people, limit contact, let parents know, never go alone to meet a friend from online in person

Let your kids know that social media often presents an idealistic, inaccurate picture. It’s easy to look at everyone else’s shiny, smiling faces and to feel depressed about your own life.

Possible solutions: Lead by example by being more realistic on your own profiles, take others’ posts and pictures with a grain of salt

Warn your children about the dangers of posting inappropriate TikToks, messages, pictures, and videos. For example, colleges and employers may see older material and decide against bringing your child on board. Deleted does not always mean deleted, either.

Possible solutions: Wait a few seconds before hitting “Enter,” never post anything you would not be comfortable with a grandparent, college, or employer seeing

Some families use social media contracts that lay out the pros and cons of social media. The contracts describe risks such as cyberbullying and loss of privacy. Kids acknowledge these dangers. In turn, their parents agree to stay out of their affairs other than friending and observing them. No mortifying comments about how Jeff never changes his underwear!

Whether your family has a contract or not, a few questions can make for enlightening conversation on social media, video streaming, and chats.

• Which apps or social media platforms do you [the kids] use?
• What do you like and dislike about these apps?
• Who do you talk with and send photos to?
• Does anyone make you uncomfortable? How, and what do you do?
• How restricted are the account settings? Can anyone anywhere in the world see what you post?
• Ask to see a few posts (if you’re not already connected with your kids on the platform). Assess whether the posts are age-appropriate and if they pose particular risks.

Email

Once a favorite way to communicate, email doesn’t get much attention from the younger generation. Kids prefer chat, video, messenger services, and communication apps. Email is where children need to take extra precautions to avoid phishing scams, malicious attachments, and suspicious links.

Texting and Messenger Services

Between texts and instant messenger services, the average teen can easily send more than 50 or even a hundred messages per day. These messages can be fertile ground for cyberbullying, sexually explicit conversations, and stranger danger. Monitor younger children’s messages. Keep the lines of communication open with kids of all ages so they can come to you when they feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Sexting

Sexting is normal to many kids—scary but true. Of course, normal doesn’t mean OK. When teens sext, they open themselves up to their photos being used as porn. They can even be arrested for photos they took of themselves and originally sent themselves.

It’s helpful to explore the whys behind sexting. Why do teens sext? The reasons are many, for example, everyone else does it, it’s a way to get intimate with others, it grabs a crush’s attention, or it can serve as a joke (yes, really!).

Start talking with your children as early as possible about personal boundaries, personal responsibility, how to resist peer pressure, and the propensity of information to stay online forever and hurt people years down the road. Explain that other kids at school can manipulate these images and publicly shame them.

However, you may want to assume that your children are going to sext, anyway. As Sue Scheff writes for the Family Online Safety Institute, “It’s no different than our parents giving us the sex talk, hoping we would choose abstinence – but also giving us safe sex alternatives.” She suggests these moves:

• Never forward or show sexts you receive to anyone
• Never send unsolicited sexts
• Don’t include identifying marks such as tattoos or scars in sexts
• Send sexts only to people you know and trust 100 percent (that includes having met them in person)
• Delete sent and received sexts ASAP from your devices

Ways To Protect Children And Teens Through Cyberbullying

Ideally, your children would know you support them and that they can come to you anytime about anything. Tell them this and show it through your actions. (If it is not the case that they can come to you, make sure they have other adults in their lives who can be safe spaces.) With cyberbullying, the goal is to get it to stop without making your child’s life even worse.

• Listen to your child’s point of view and take any solutions they suggest seriously
• Validate your child’s perspectives and view their concerns as legitimate
• Ask what your child wants you to do

To expand on the last point, some children would rather handle the situation on their own and just need support, advice, or someone to vent to. You risk making the situation a lot worse and losing your child’s trust if you confront the bully’s parents or school administrators in a huge fit of rage without your child’s permission. Remember: This is about your child, not about you.

Sometimes, it’s possible to resolve cyberbullying through official channels such as meetings with school administrators or the bullies/their family. You may need to get in touch with your internet or phone service provider to remove harassing content.

Some children bounce back from cyberbullying easier than others do. Keep an eye on your children’s resiliency. You can help your children become more resilient by nurturing positive self-beliefs.

Recognizing The Signs Your Child May Be A Victim Of Cyberbullying

Symptoms that your children are being cyberbullied may include:

• Avoiding the computer, cellphone, and other mobile devices
• Appearing distressed immediately after receiving emails, texts, or messages
• Changing eating and sleeping habits
• Taking a new route or method of traveling to and from school
• Finding excuses to not go to school
• Declining grades or athletic performance
• Showing signs of depression, low self-esteem and/or fear

If you notice any of these indicators, talk with your child. Many times, they are ashamed to admit to being cyberbullied or simply are not ready to talk about it. However, ignoring it does not solve the problem and may actually exacerbate it. Give your children space while keeping an eye on them. Emphasize that you are here for them, nurture their positive self-beliefs, and do things together that do not involve being online.